Thankful: To "B" or Not To Be

There are two sides to every coin.  Good day, bad day.  Good season, bad season.  Good year, bad year.  I've found that life usually falls somewhere in between with a strong leaning to the good if we're willing to see it that way.  But we always have a choice...







2012: My View thus Far

Home
A.  I'm nearing thirty and have just moved from a rented brick house with a nice yard and a sizable garden to a metal-sided shop building that's half the size of my former house, has no yard, and is too shaded to have a garden. To add insult to injury, I have no room for my large dining table to host big family gatherings.
B.  I'm nearing thirty and am living debt-free in an adorable apartment that's comfortable, full of things I treasure, and is a haven for me and my husband as we look to the horizon for what lies ahead.  We don't have the mundane task of mowing a lawn and can now share the fun and labor of gardening with my in-laws for the next few seasons.   My family visits often in smaller groups and as long as there's a plate for every lap (which there always is), no one misses my table...except me occasionally.

Weather
A. The weather this year was unpredictable and extreme.  Winter was mild leaving the pastures mucky and the pests with a head start.  The spring came early and warm.  Our cold crops bolted in the garden and our trees succumbed to a late frost ruining our chances for pears and most other fruit.  The summer was hot and dry.  Our area along with the nation suffered a severe drought causing pastures to go dormant, our berries to shrivel, and many of our oak trees to die.
B. The weather this year was unpredictable and difficult.  We adapted as best we could -- enjoying the unseasonably pleasurable temperatures of winter, appreciating an easy spring in which to start seedlings, staying in the shade during summer heat and stocking our herds light on the strained forage. We plan to harvest the dead oaks for timber to use in our upcoming house.  The freezer looks a bit unusual in that we're missing a bunch of "regulars", but there's plenty to eat and eat we shall!

Family
A.  Family relationships can be hard and stress-filled at times.  This year had more of it than I'd like to tally.  It's difficult to help others when I often feel like I've got enough problems of my own.  Sometimes coordinating the extended family schedule is an overwhelming feat.
B.  My family is full of good people whom I love dearly.  We've all got our quirks and shortcomings (myself included), but who doesn't!  I'm willing to do the best I can to be caring, supportive, and helpful in the midst of hardships...after all, they've done the same for me.  Not many young couples these days live nearby their families or have a group of family members that are mutually interested in each others' well-being.

Business
A. After four years of successful retail farming we've had to shut our doors and shift gears on the farm.  The systems we've worked hard to master on our farmland are in many senses obsolete.  Homestead-size versions of raising cattle, hogs, or chickens is nothing like the schedule and management logistics of the larger herds we've grown accustomed to.  While we have options and want to make an income farming, it's difficult to know which is the best route to take for future. Throughout the year we've said goodbye to faithful customers and grappled with the sense of loss associated with letting go.  In weak moments, it's seemed as if we were giving up our dreams.
B.  We've spent four years learning what to do (and not do) in a retail pastured farming operation.  Closing the business this year has allowed us the space and time to assess what we've gained in our business acumen, in our pastured farming knowledge, and in our relationships with like-minded consumers in our area. All of this is invaluable experience.  We can be proud to have created a cash-flowing farming business using sustainable methods in a bad national economy.  How many folks can say that?  There's no telling what we'll take on next!

Finances
A. My husband and I work part-time and our income is well under the majority of our peers.  We don't drive new cars, use fancy phones, buy lots of gadgets, or often go out to eat or shop for new clothes.  Shutting down our business was a scary financial move because we knowingly closed a viable income stream.  The months after our decision went slowly as we gingerly juggled the checkbooks.
B. My husband and I choose to invest time and energy in making our home, even if it means a smaller paycheck or unconventional careers.  We do without as necessary so that we can focus our finances on what we value most -- healthful food, travel, and creative enterprises on our homestead.  It's never easy, but we wouldn't trade the time we spend with one another and the freedom to live the life we choose.  No matter the amount, our money works for us, not the other way around.   We feel more comfortable living on less and appreciating the cushion than living on more and feeling the pinch.

Health
A.  My husband has struggled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) for seven long years.  Setting aside his personal strain to focus on us/me for a moment I will state without hesitation that this illness overshadows our everyday activities from start to finish.  It was a major reason for the closure of our business, has kept us from social engagements, and deters us from other business and homestead ventures we would otherwise jump into wholeheartedly. It is a difficult syndrome to explain to others, is socially stigmatizing, and has been emotionally and physically oppressive.
B. My husband and I have made major changes in our life this year in order to overcome CFS.  Despite symptoms, his body is strong and we are confident that our commitment to his health will restore him to who he once was physically, mentally, emotionally, and in every other way.  We are hopeful that the difficult choices we've made this year (and all the energy expended to facilitate them) will be well-worth the sacrifice.

As is customary in this season, I've taken occasion to muse over my life and all that I'm thankful for.  It's cliche to mention it, but I must -- we should be thankful all year, not just at Thanksgiving.  While I agree this is easier said than done, I think there's more merit in that thinking than is often given credit.  If we choose to view our circumstances through a lens of thankfulness it doesn't diminish the realities of hardship that we face, it only makes the good things that much sweeter, that much more welcome, that much more present.  Wise Solomon said, "A merry heart does good, like medicine."  (Proverbs 17:22) Modern science will concur that a contented spirit, a grateful disposition, and a happy heart are truly a tonic for health and wellness.  I find this contentment in simple things, in the distillation of my life down to what REALLY matters to me. The everyday moments become reasons to be thankful -- enjoying the sunlight in my kitchen, being struck once again by how much I am loved by my spouse, feeling sooo comfy in my bed, reliving the accomplishment of negotiating for my favorite antique cabinet, knowing I have all that I truly need, recognizing I've learned something valuable, or remembering a silly moment and having a good chuckle. So as I sit at my turkey-topped table this week or any other table throughout the year, I'll choose "B"...to Be Thankful for my journey.